2012

Don't say it's a new start.
Let's say it's a continuation.
I've done some really challenging and exciting and memorable things in this year:
1.I could control my emotions from exploding in school when it comes to a failure in romance.
2.I participated in 30-hour Famine,I didn't eat for 30 hours!!
3.I played The Abyss in Ocean Park(I almost didn't tie the belt...)
4.I have got over hundreds of dark nights....
5.I took as naps as I could in the summer.
6.I read all the detective books of James Patterson in summer(HK Central Library)
7.I told him that I xxxxxxxxte and watch xxxx.
8.I have discovered a paradise for dating: Didiland
9.I got my first baiser with a girl.It shouldn't be counted as my first time technically.
10.I had talked to him on phone for many times from November :D
11.I had got over the hardest month in F.3: November.Two tests and thousands of quizzes per week,plus tons of homework of a great variety(Record: two tests+Artwork+Chinese History Report+Maths homework=one night)

In the coming year,my wish is as same as last year's.
Hey we still have an hour left!
*Making wish*

I have some targets in 2012:
1.Lemon Tea(he's the goal for me for the rest of the 1000 years)
2.I have to learn calculus.
3.I have to become a Physics+Chem genius
4.My NSS subjects are English Literature,Arts and Chem+Phy
5.I will hang out with him AGAIN AND AGAIN *determine*
6.Same,I want to get closer with him in friendship<---really.

Okay I wanna leave now
I haven't finished studying Chinese History (God damn Qing government it was so useless)

An Old Photo

光與影的交替

過度曝光

你不會認得我的

（于6月4日維園所拍）

Milktea Love Songs in Hong Kong

Usually I dislike those milktea-style songs in Hong Kong.They're all the same,rubbish.....

Except some,like Janice.M Vidal and Jill Vidal.They're good,they got beautiful voices and I don't fucking care about whether Jill takes drugs or not.Lilly Allen and Lady Gaga take drugs too so why can't just people accept her?

I found out that every summer I listen to Candy Lo's songs.Just at that specific time,I am addicted to them.*scratches head* I dunno either but just feel like that way,and listen to her songs.

And of course,it leads to crying(喊到七彩)
Candy Lo=盧巧音
Recommended=垃圾(suitable for me),落地開花,喜歡戀愛(the best anti-happy medicine when it combines with Amy Cheung 張小嫻's fictions)

I don't understand why can't she be popular.Her voice is special enough but in Hong Kong,right,the music has already been polluted by milktea-style stuff.

Those golden times are gone....Leslie..........he's the legend.*boasts*

...LC(wtfhisnameisassameasLeslie's)........
..............orz...
.....................orz...
............................orz....
...................................orz..................

Now comes to my favourite: My Little Airport
The most unique indie band in Hong Kong.They ARE THE GOD!
Recommened:阿煩(it fits me,of course),Rm1210,Terence的心事(初戀ge感覺),介乎法國與旺角的詩意(同男朋友一齊開公司),迷人的頸巾(if one day it happens....niceeee)

Je m'ennuie de toi tellement.

a tiny light towards the hole

I dunno why.
But after every big arguements and fights with him,or just like before,when the times used to be good,after he offline,I like leaving messages to him.
Because there's always a chance he will read it,and reply.Even it's a humiliating response,I still feel good becoz,at least,he replies me.

But things always dun go in the way that we expect.
Usually he does not reply(especially after some sensitive chat)

But well...a habit.

***********************************************************************************
My diary has finally came to the end.It finished its job during these 2 years.I bought in F1,when I was being bullied by them in school.Since that time I wrote down things and feelings in case something happened.Reading it is a very interesting experience because there's not only words,sometimes
pictures,
photos,
my drawing(the most classical one is Casper starring at the computer screen,showing "J'taime" by moi,he is angry and swearing.And I am standing next to him,holding a bomb xD ),
the crystal we obtained from Copper Sulphate III after crystalization in Chemistry lessons(packed with a little plastic bag),
movie tickets,
paper flower I bought on flag day,
some pages are like being tissed by wolves because I was heartbroken etc
2 cm of thickness,2 years of memories.
I bet he will laugh out loud when he's reading that......since over 80% of stuf is about HIM.
and over 70% ,is about my life after September,2010.

I hope he'll reply my mail I wrote yesterday.Something I should have told him long time ago but i didn't as I was afraid that he would insult/laugh at me.
now i'm not afraid anymore since i've lost my self-esteem.A woman can easily lose it when she's facing the problem: Love.

Confession of a "food" shopaholic

You know.....eating is the most wonderful thing in life.
Eating something GOOD is much more attractive.
For example....deep fried chicken wings?

Two days ago I went to Jusco and bought tons of stuff,well almost my favourite.
One of my habits is to drink/buy special drinks in CitySuper/Jusco/The supermarket in SOGO.Usually I buy them by judging their packagings and flavours.Last time I chose a HUGE bottle of honey green tea,where an ancient Japanese girl and other scenes of garden are drawn.(I admit that I bought because of its BOTTLE,okay?)
And there's a kind of lemonade soda/orange soda which is WONDERFUL \@0@/ It was my best friend in summer when I was doing my "sofa camping".Also coffee yes,Milk Coffee of UNI,smooooooooooth enough.

Out of topic: my clothes yes my out look!I don't care about fashion anymore.I mean...I still read those magazines ELLE ....but not as passionate as before.Since I found that it's totally not worth buying a bag which wastes your salary of whole month!So,now my dress code is: comfortable,lemonade-style and vintage(sometimes).
So you don't have to worry :D I won't dress like a peacock.Maybe a punk t-shirt + a bracelet with nails on it?:p then a pair of Converse plus a tote bag?

Let's see.....I said,I take it as a date.

AIYA

Aiya So God Damn Messy!!!!!
Gotta tidy up my mind!!!!!

Truth of screamo

Well I don't know what's the reason for being angry,and I don't know why I am angry,But I am just WANT TO BE angry.It is meaningless and stupid but I AM MAD,RIGHT NOW.AND NOW I'M A HEAVY METAL ONE.

Fine!

Lipids and sugar are all my needs right now.Go to the hell Love!Who needs you?!You're a stupid freaky creepy unpredictable lil disaster.

I hate him.

Screamo

WELLLLLLLLL IT SEEMS TO BE IMPOSSIBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLEBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN YOU

Darkside

I want to say,
There is no fairness,
in this pathetic world.
Dreams are untouchable,
You can chase,
But you will never get it.
Talk to me dreams,
after you give me some encouragement.
Why are people so fake?
Or am I too naive?
Or this is what we are living.
The world is dying.
Drag me to the hell if you can,
Because,
I think it is much better,
than what I am living.

Someone said you are unpredictable.
I said,"He is just emotional."
You make us feeling embarrassed.
You can defeat others'confidence easily.

So can you just,
LISTEN?
Or this is what you've been doing.
But can you,
be
active?
Or it is just an unreasonable request?
I,Know,I,Can't,Make,You,Do,Anything.
But,At,Least,Sil Vous Plait,Care,
That,is,enough,
For,Now.

Chapstick

There were so many things happened in the past few weeks.
1.It has been so cold and I can hardly leave my bed in the morning.
2.Something happened in the toilet in Francais Alliance.
3.My favourite activity with Angela is to consult the country girl.
4.I am becoming a colourful Emo girl.
5.I speak less and less in school.
6.I am looking forward to the Christmas holidays: Musuem,Night with DarkSalander,Books Trip,Museum of Arts trip,Revision plan...wait it isn't.
7.Pressure will be gone after tonight.All the quizzes will be ended tonight.
8.I will die tonight.
9.I am so hungry right now.Obviously turkey can't satisfy me.
10.I passed my French test.
11.I like the comic : Yotsuba.
12.I haven't watched dvds for about....3 weeks?
13.Honestly I wanted to call him few mins ago.
14.I didn't because I started to imagine his tone(angry one).
15.What's for dinner?Grilled Dragon?
16.I didn't follow Casper's instructions.I didn't ignore her,though.
17.Sorry
18.Sorry
19.Sorry
20.She and I did some evil stuff in school.And it will be continued,til the end of the world.*smirks*
21.Those targets that were chosen by us.....they will be dead soon.
22.An everlasting rule: Chapstick+Kiss=Acceptable One
Dry lips+Kiss=Unacceptable One

Toaster's big day

TMR will be a big day for moi!!C'est le competition of Toasters/Toe Master programme!!!!!!AHHHHHI AM SO GOD DAMN NERVOUS!!!

*tidies the hair* well basically i've memorized the script very well.(although i will forget some lines but i will tidy up the mess by my clever brain*boasts*)
props props props!!Crystal hasn't printed the props out!!I am going to give out a speech on Famine between children and believe me,you won't feel bored.You know I'm not the Ms Lok from Castle Peak in today's assembly *hehehehe*

I got scolded by him last night
"Not yet done!!!Don't call me anymore!!!!!!*roars*"
"Not yet done!!!Don't call me anymore!!!!!!*roars*"
"Not yet done!!!Don't call me anymore!!!!!!*roars!"

3825 968(wasp's method)

Today has been pretty fucking odd.
I mean,I want to talk to her but at the same time I don't want to say a word,it seems like it will take my final breath or what.Oh I just didn't want to use my mouth.I kept hearing Cindy Chow's big laughing and talking sound,which was so annoying.I don't understand why a person can talk so loud as far as I could hear her voice in Physics lessons(2 benches distance)
I was supposed to get into Physics Lab earlier since I didn't want to see her.(If she doesn't want to talk to me then I don't want to talk to her either)So,Miss Man came late,and standing next to those people (who sit next to the windows) was weird,bitches.
BITCHES.
Well in the whole school day I wanted to stalk on her to see whether she was looking at me or turning around to Cindy Chow's desk.And obviously,the answer was the second one.I left the classroom for few times because staying in it was like torturing myself.During lunch time she came to desk,I didn't WANT TO look at her,A BIT.But you just stood there,I couldn't move like a statue.Finally you were gone which was good cause I HATED YOU SO MUCH.
I told myself that : FUCK OFF CRYSTAL MAK.
I don't know why I am mad at you but I just want to and the point is that Je t'aime toujours.And I don't want to apologize to you.C'est absurde:Je veux vous.J'ai une eleve moi-meme estimer.


Well I'm a bit worrying about the sponsored walk tomorrow.



p.s I don't carry much hope on your reply since everytime you give me your reply in a funny attitude and I am so embarrassed.If you are gonna do it again then probably I hope you'd better not to leave comments,and I will hate you more.(not a threaten ,i know you are not scare with it)je suis seulement un jour jouet de votres,bien?!Je ne suis important.

Nothing

I don't know what to say....
So...yeah....I hate you but I love you.
So that you,good.
You haven't talked to me for few weeks*Emo Voice*
*Smoking*
Life is hard.I hate it.
*Putting lipstick on*
I am a xxxx.

DIDILAND

I think we were both crazy and so casual since we sit,in,the Main St.America,in case many of our classmates/schoolmates might see us.The action was like kissing in front of Ms Ho(A gumgum born to be dumdum which needs gumgum.)

<3 Marshmallow+Sweet rubber+Fireworks=Perfect.

A call from him+A message+Skittles=Perfect again.

Flirty+Skittles+Kiss+Disneyland=Emo pinky ones.

Stalking in maths class/2+Sweater X Mints + Easy enough exercise+Opened door=Cool Morning

Lunch Time(Afterschool)+Flirt+Toilet(Stairs near tuck shop)=(Kiss+Cud+Whisper)10

Oh and she gave me something.......a necklace(heart-shaped)

confession of today

So....I think it probably was a embrasser.

A real one.......Je ne sais pas."Je t'amie of course"?I thought you don't like me at all.But you now said "Je t'amie"?

Lasting long or not.....I know myself that I must will be depressed,especially we see each other almost everyday.I don't know mon,but je veux que tu m'aimes.Je sais que c'est ridicule,excessif.But J'aime que.

It's okay if you think it won't last long but here's MY prediction: this kind of pysical relationship will still last for a while,at least 1 year.

what's the French word of "heartbreaker"?Oh yep,arnacoeur....so you think you're playful?O.o

Honestly,what you said might really happen.And more honestly,I am really afraid of those things.Even more honestly,but I want to continue this physical one.(just delete this sentence gosh...)

P.S. Je...........aime.Non,Je ne sais pas xD Un peu? Kissing is the farthest action I can accept right this moment.

p.p.s. what i've thinking these days are shown in this song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGBaXPlri8&ob=av2e

10 things I want to say

1. I really love The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo,The Girl Who Played With Fire,I love Lisbeth Salander(the main character).And I wish Mikael Blomvist was Lemon Tea.

2. I am going to have a dragon tattoo when I grow up.Not the black society one.It's a more elegant,slim,black one.And I will have it on something you can't see if I put my clothes on*smirks*

3.I miss him so much.

4.I want to buy many books and DVDs now.

5.I strongly doubt myself that if I am bisexual or not.But I like boys of course.Though I am worried about that whether Cas will leave me alone after he knows I am that....dirty?Well I don't think he's that kind of person but you know many people,discrimnate bisexual/homosexual people.

6.I want to have tongue piercing,and one on my belly,and another one on.....oh I shouldn't tell you that,too private :D somewhere you can't think of.

7.I love DIY stuff.Recently I am making 2 teddy bears and 1 doll.I cut the patterns,frabric,sewed it by my own :) I am going to learn how to do knitting.It's winter you know...

8.I am so starving :(

9.I can't let my mom see all those things above,also my diary.

10.I am going to post this and delete the viewing history.

Au revoir for now.

my little dolly

dolly my little girl
didn't squeal a bit
one day i woke up
found that she was sleeping
she didn't move like a stone

if last night i took you out and put you in a box
then maybe you wouldn't die.

my baby died......and she was only 2 months old......

i just handled her body,felt that she was cold.

my baby would never come back.........

/////

1-11-113ovv1\1
ii_o\/-^\131_11_1vv11_1_1\1-^\v-^\!/\........
-!-vv-!---!-!--1/-\1)\-1/-\^\-!/-\11\1?

1/-\/\/\-1-1-1_11)\-1---11-1/-\-111-o\/-1--1_1/\/\o1)\-1--.....

i/-\/\/\-1-1--1--1)\1o1_1-1-1-......

1)1--1--/-\-1---1-1-.................

Hint: strokes.

silence

點解我剛才突然靜下來？

因為我以為我是三甲之內。

happy now?

Seed,Germination

I feel like I am on the edge of falling apart now.I almost get there but the seed hasn't exploded yet.Something wrong is in my heart and I know it is a terrible,fatal disease.I just can't erase it.And as it stays,I need to control myself very well.Because I have felt this way before.If I just let it explodes,something horrible will happen.And it will affect Cas,myfriends,everyone that I know.I,myself,will come to an end.
The situation is like Nina in Black Swan.I didn't tell anyone about it because they will be scared of me afterwards.They will think like"Is she crazy?Or something wrong with her mind?".They will stay away from me because I am dangerous.I can be very good and I can be very bad.Depends on what he does to me.But one thing I can be very sure,it's that the disease will go away if he can talk to me.Not the Gmail stuff,it's a long patient talk on msn/facebook.

Fine I guess I'm doing some persuaion or what.
In fact,as long as I can control it,I don't hurt.

This post is so dark.I just hope that he won't stay away from me(although he already does,now).

\

I AM SUCH A LOSER NO DOUBT.

Dull Sat.

A programme that helps to develop teenagers'confidence and skills on public speech.
Toastmaster(not toaster)
Today's meeting was.....dull.The students were not active and we didn't speak a word if we didn't need to come out to give a speech.Crystal and I were playing(holding)each other's hands(and fingers) under the desks.Probably the one sitting behind us thought we were lesbians:D

Honestly,sometimes she uses her hands swapping my belly and legs(since I wear dress).And see how long I can endure.....she is very gothic and .......white.

I am not a lesbian.
I am just being a lil affected by the girls okay?
Well,maybe.

I am leaving very soon to walk in the Central and Western Districts 文物徑 with Jenny Pisseny,which is so attractive.If somebody says history is for dead people and boring etc,then he/she probably isn't worth living in this world.No history=No 2011=No future.In fact,I loveeeeeeeeeee 1911 Revolution!!!!!!!!And historic sites,museums,old films,music ........I wish I could live in 1900-1970's Hong Kong.

直落去的節目是去科學館/歷史博物館with Rachel.

再直落：DEAD END-----> 13 the Musical

Think positive:He may not appear tonight,maybe he will go tomorrow!
Think negative:He will see me and stab me to death!!!<----more tragic and romantic

I shouldn't promise Rachel I will go............*sigh*

Cloud and Steel

"To someone love is like a cloud,to some is like strong steel.To someone love is holding on,some is letting go."----Perhaps Love

I cannot believe that Tea is going to watch 13 the Musical.
I cannot believe that I promised Rachel to go with her.
I cannot believe that......I don't want to go now but I want to watch the musical.From Young Friends Scheme website I saw this musical but unfortunately it doesn't offer any discount tickets so I just....buy the normal one.

What should I do if I really meet him?!!!!!It will be embarrassing enough and he must thinks that I am stalking him!!!!!!

Or I just not going and go to watch movie instead?1911 Revolution is very good.

Why must you watch the Chinese version after you watched the English one?==



I think I should just tell Rachel that we are going to watch 1911 on Saturday.
To avoid some tragedies happen.


i think he will pick me to an empty room and kill me.

Lemon Tree

"I wonder how,I wonder why,yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky and all that I can see,is just a yellow lemon tree"

I like that song.

I thought I had deleted the song in my laptop while I was deleting his pictures.But I didn't,I found the music box in the computer last night.....and other memorial stuff.
I couldn't believe I still keep the chatting record!I don't read it anymore nowdays since they hurt,a lot.

And guess what,Joanna Wang released her latest album.Lemon Tree is included.
Also a Chinese version.It is funny because Lemon Tree sounds like Lemon Tea (his name) and the Chinese version is very lame if you sing it like that way......

I was supposed to send him that song in last year's April....but I cancelled it because I was very angry about what he told me about.I....regret?He asked me who's the artist but I just deleted the chatting box and offline.

I am almost collapsed........................................................................................

Pig's leg

I sprained my left leg in Yat-sen Park last Saturday.And the "marvelous","brave" me went to see the firework afterwards,didn't care about my leg a bit.
When I got home,my mom told me to take off the shoes.......*Gosh* It hurt!!There was a pluck-up stuff on my joint and the back of my ankle,bruising.I could walk properly and each step of floors are scaring me to death.
(Imaginative dialogue---Lemon Tea: HAHAHAHAHAHA,Nice Job,Wet Grassland!!!xD)
Maybe I am mad masochistic,I like the way of my ankle (punch me).I was on duty in the school library on Monday and I felt like "Cool,I'm like a quiet bookworm who is disabled."I just felt nice.Sometimes I would like to try to get cancer,fight against the serious illness,then recover.Or sitting on a wheelchair.I want to try it.......

I think I've got a fever just now.

*sneeze*

Alright,I want to drink some water,then have a sleep.Hope that I will dream about you.

Cutie~

He hasn't talked to me for 12 days.Well it isn't the worst situation,the longest record is 2 whole months.

*groan* He's got a girlfriend He's got a girlfriend He's got a girlfriend He's got a girlfriend ......and I am getting crazy I am getting crazy I am getting crazy....

↑Stop,let us look at our dearest,cutest Brian's latest photo.

Wowowowowoooooo!!@@ So cute right?!!!!Everyone can't take their eyes out of this photo!!!!!!!!\@0@/

Okay I am being superficial for this moment,but in fact:

He is SUPER HANDSOME (YOYOYO!)

Hm I think Lemon Tea is being "==" or like "=0=" when he's reading this.

Or he thinks he is cute too? :D

I miss them both I wish one of them can chat with me,just one then i'll be satisfied.

some funny things happened these days :)

I bit my tongue last night in Canada Restaurant(hey you know where it is :D).I was just eating my delicious steak and suddenly,"AH."My watery eyes starred at my mom,and I opened my mouth like a o-shaped.
And it is still hurting ><
Oh by the way the set was really yummy :p

Me and Crystal(a gothic girl in my school just like me) thought of a plan.A project actually.We are working hard on it and we even get some back-up from Takahashi Tomomi(A funny Japanese girl from last year's 2E),Jenny(the one that's passionate with social issues and history,like me again) and Rachel ( Naturally silly,she's born to be that).They will be the supporting dancers(wait a minute,I won't put 2 containers on my bra like Katy does!)

See that word Gothic?yes I am gothic,in heart.I am like a mixture of vintage,goth and old-time.It's kinda weird.

I started to worry about the subjects.Which subjects am I going to choose?I wanna study history because I love 1911 Revolution and Thank God that It's 100th anniversary :D *smiling and showing teeth* but it's in the same group with Chemistry,which mom will definitely force me to choose.I konw it,she wants me to be a doctor.A steady,good,fantastic job,well maybe it's not that fantastic with me.Just like what Lemon Tea said before: It's the most steady job I can say,plus I can get some medicine for free :D

Hm I've thought about to be a MSF doctor,a scholor of history,an artist(my mom will kill me),a designer.But the most charming dream I have is the one involve my best friend Anna(the girl from Ramimondi college who sits with Victor orz)We promised that we will open a little store selling vintage,books and DIY stuff.Just the one on Park Road,Coffee Book?
And our boyfriends will come and pick us up to home :)
Well,maybe just her boy.

*groans* I am soooooo starving....................................................................................I miss my steak,I miss my tongue,I miss the lemonade,I miss the squid,I miss the fruit salad,I miss ya.

Deteste

ll me manque teelement.
Mais je ne peux pas le dire haut et fort parce qu'il donne.
Seulement le pouvoir pour elle.
Je sais que c'est egoiste,mais je le veux
Je me deteste.
(Gigi Leung est bon)

Autumn

My nose is very sensitive.It can smell the air and recall my memories.For example,something important happened in winter and the wind was so cold.And in every winter after it,my nose detects the wind and bring the memories again to my brain.
Pathetic?
It's autumn now(I think?).My Chinese teacher said,"Now is very cool huh?When you walk to school don't you feel a bit sad?"
Well she spoke my feeling out.

I remember that I 've written a phrase in my diary last year.It was like..."I'm a slave of emtions ain't I?" Oh the most pathetic in the world must be you can't get rid of your past!(I think)You can't just wash your brain and press a button and those things are *deleted*

Yesterday I met Victor and he brough me MY books back AFTER 1 YEAR AND 3 MONTHS.That's good because one of the books is XXXX.The motion film by Leslie?Do you remember it?I don't believe that I've got it.I still can't forget the shock when I first read it.

What am I going say in this post?

Oh yes,I forgot it.

(what?!I just wrote the same sentence on that damn poem book!)

Yes what I am going to say here is that I am listening to Lemon Tree which I was supposed to send it to him very long time ago but i didn't because i was angry with him at that time so i went offline i am so regret of it right now why i didn't treasure the time and this version is sang by Joanna Wong from her latest album what the fuck I found this song I feel paranoid and WHY DID I JUST WRITE SO MANY FAMILIAR SENTENCES????!!!!!!!!!!!AH! WAEOHFIJWEPOIRHGG#$%^&*ishkjw()*ey (#g^tyo$hfnhgf #%*(&eurWR&^ *#Yg ugffvjDAMN IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG0h1SrNKZ8

First Post

Okay,I don't know what happened to me yesterday,afternoon.I simply sat on the sofa,starring at the computer screen and listening to Faye Wong's songs.Have you ever felt like you cry but not only because of the saddness,is because of something has gone in your life?Well I guess you have never experienced since you're that popular with girls,and easily get noticed by them on your forum.




I don't know what our relationship is........friends.......the simple one.....the lowest one......I am very useless.I am old,stepping into another page of my life...........................

*sigh*I think I'm back to the time in April-June,feeling depressed.

Can you just talk to me?