I dunno why.
But after every big arguements and fights with him,or just like before,when the times used to be good,after he offline,I like leaving messages to him.
Because there's always a chance he will read it,and reply.Even it's a humiliating response,I still feel good becoz,at least,he replies me.
But things always dun go in the way that we expect.
Usually he does not reply(especially after some sensitive chat)
But well...a habit.
***********************************************************************************
My diary has finally came to the end.It finished its job during these 2 years.I bought in F1,when I was being bullied by them in school.Since that time I wrote down things and feelings in case something happened.Reading it is a very interesting experience because there's not only words,sometimes
pictures,
photos,
my drawing(the most classical one is Casper starring at the computer screen,showing "J'taime" by moi,he is angry and swearing.And I am standing next to him,holding a bomb xD ),
the crystal we obtained from Copper Sulphate III after crystalization in Chemistry lessons(packed with a little plastic bag),
movie tickets,
paper flower I bought on flag day,
some pages are like being tissed by wolves because I was heartbroken etc
2 cm of thickness,2 years of memories.
I bet he will laugh out loud when he's reading that......since over 80% of stuf is about HIM.
and over 70% ,is about my life after September,2010.
I hope he'll reply my mail I wrote yesterday.Something I should have told him long time ago but i didn't as I was afraid that he would insult/laugh at me.
now i'm not afraid anymore since i've lost my self-esteem.A woman can easily lose it when she's facing the problem: Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment