I feel like I am on the edge of falling apart now.I almost get there but the seed hasn't exploded yet.Something wrong is in my heart and I know it is a terrible,fatal disease.I just can't erase it.And as it stays,I need to control myself very well.Because I have felt this way before.If I just let it explodes,something horrible will happen.And it will affect Cas,myfriends,everyone that I know.I,myself,will come to an end.
The situation is like Nina in Black Swan.I didn't tell anyone about it because they will be scared of me afterwards.They will think like"Is she crazy?Or something wrong with her mind?".They will stay away from me because I am dangerous.I can be very good and I can be very bad.Depends on what he does to me.But one thing I can be very sure,it's that the disease will go away if he can talk to me.Not the Gmail stuff,it's a long patient talk on msn/facebook.
Fine I guess I'm doing some persuaion or what.
In fact,as long as I can control it,I don't hurt.
This post is so dark.I just hope that he won't stay away from me(although he already does,now).
No comments:
Post a Comment